Expecting Someone to Change?

It’s amazing how we sometimes long to be in a relationship and finally it happens and all of a sudden we expect our partners to change so that they can fit in the way we envisioned it to happen.

Unfortunately, things have so much changed in the dating world. Some lie to get what they want, others become friends with benefits just to keep up, some give in to casual sex which is no different from booty calls and some just don’t care anymore!

Truth is no one will stick around when you try to change them. You either have to learn to blend or step aside. There’s the need to compromise on a positive note without disrupting your set standards and as long as you’re not ready to do that, you’ll keep getting dumped. 

Being clingy is also not needed anymore. You’ve got to be independent and respect each other’s space and time. Quit checking on his or her phone to see who called or sent a text message, snooping around will also make you lose that good man or woman. 

Learn to love that partner and take some “me” time where you don’t choke each other up. Love us about respect, trust, honesty, loyalty and excellent communication amongst other things. If that partner isn’t meant to be, the relationship cannot be forced. 

If anyone really needs to change, always start with yourself. Learn to wait for the right one knowing you can’t change anyone but you can love them for who they really are!

Never Date an Ex that Treated You Badly

You may have been out of the dating space for a while and still looking and suddenly an ex from way back shows up letting you know how much you have been missed. He/she comes up with some sweet words to make you go “gaga” and fall right into their arms. You already have your emotions running high after reading the text messages or staying on the phone with him/her for hours after you both reunite. This person has finally convinced you by keeping up the pace and trying to prove he/she has changed but have they really?

The first thing that should come to mind is how your relationship ended not necessarily the comeback. It is easy to show someone you care, when you are staging a comeback but how much is truly the caring spirit at this earlier stage? You can never really know until you give the relationship time but you also do not want to dive into it with someone who bit you the first time. You do not want to give room for a second jab. If it happened that the relationship was abusive, you should never entertain such relationships going forward. The relationship ended on a sour note, you should not even open yourself up to a long-winded conversation but rather choose to remain friends with them for future purposes. You do not know where you will need each other. I personally do not by the idea of an ex coming back after a while to say that he/she has missed you or you are the best thing that ever happened to them.

Initially, your worth was not valued so what makes the difference between them and now? You may say people grow up and change but what about the memories? Can they become awoken and the flashbacks kick in and allow repetition? I suggest leaving the friendship open, meet strictly in public places or with other friends around and do not arouse your emotions to the point of falling in love again only the get hurt once more.  You must love yourself enough not to want to entertain anything that will hurt or harm you. You are better off being alone that to be with someone who does not value you or know your worth.



Dating a Player or Narcissist?

You may be dating a player or narcissist and trying to figure out how to move on and away from the relationship.
I hope this article will help you find ways to stop wasting your type with a player or narcissist: